help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
