1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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