Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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