Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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