Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Come on in and take your pants off
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