You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
