i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
