Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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