dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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