Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
