I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
