If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
