I puked a lego.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
