I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
