i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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