life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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