ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
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I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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