i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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