OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
