break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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