it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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