I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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