i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
