Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i love accidental penises.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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