Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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