Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
