did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My dick has a subreddit
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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