I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
How naked do you want me to be?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
