Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
