she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
