You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
