Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
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She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
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It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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