Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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