I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
