i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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