Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
