Already got asked if we're dating
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
