battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
