Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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