I just threw up on my dentist
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
