alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
