Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
