I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
