I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
