you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
