Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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