best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize