WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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