I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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