I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
