Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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