Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
