they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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