butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
