He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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