He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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