the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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