I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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