i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
