I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
